Dear Republicans
Last night was pretty rough, huh? I know, I've been there. Losing hurts, no doubt about it.
You're probably not in the mood for advice, but perhaps before long, when you are looking for answers as to what went wrong, you'll consider my words.
You need to break up with Social Issues.
Now I know, it seemed like a good idea at the time. There was a certain niche that that thought you two were great together. You probably gave their opinion way too much weight. But you're in a a losing relationship. Social Issues is no good for you. Social Issues is...honestly...a selfish bitch. All that, "My way or the highway" drama - who needs THAT? Look at the trouble it caused you in the last few weeks. At least two Senate seats went down the tubes for you because of Social Issues shooting off its mouth.
Afraid you'll be all alone and lonely?
Take a look at your old yearbook. Remember your first love, Fiscal Responsibility?
Pull out that old prom picture of the two of you. You were great together. Fiscal responsibility is popular. You used to love Fiscal Responsibility. I like Fiscal Responsibility. A LOT of people like Fiscal Responsibility. Now sure, it might seem kind of shallow to just go with popular, but hey, everyone likes popular and wants to hang out with popular. Popular can get stuff done!
So dump Social Issues. Break up and don't look back. Delete their number so you're not tempted to dial them if you feel desperate. Find Fiscal Responsibility's number, give them a call and start a conversation.
It will do you good.
You're probably not in the mood for advice, but perhaps before long, when you are looking for answers as to what went wrong, you'll consider my words.
You need to break up with Social Issues.
Now I know, it seemed like a good idea at the time. There was a certain niche that that thought you two were great together. You probably gave their opinion way too much weight. But you're in a a losing relationship. Social Issues is no good for you. Social Issues is...honestly...a selfish bitch. All that, "My way or the highway" drama - who needs THAT? Look at the trouble it caused you in the last few weeks. At least two Senate seats went down the tubes for you because of Social Issues shooting off its mouth.
Afraid you'll be all alone and lonely?
Take a look at your old yearbook. Remember your first love, Fiscal Responsibility?
Pull out that old prom picture of the two of you. You were great together. Fiscal responsibility is popular. You used to love Fiscal Responsibility. I like Fiscal Responsibility. A LOT of people like Fiscal Responsibility. Now sure, it might seem kind of shallow to just go with popular, but hey, everyone likes popular and wants to hang out with popular. Popular can get stuff done!
So dump Social Issues. Break up and don't look back. Delete their number so you're not tempted to dial them if you feel desperate. Find Fiscal Responsibility's number, give them a call and start a conversation.
It will do you good.
posted by Marti at 7:08 PM
4 Talk Back
I love you!
This is too cool!
Thanks for stopping by! I appreciate your comment - I was feelin' feisty :-)
Too true, Marti. The Republicans need to look at their own history. The two biggest electoral college landslides in history were Nixon 1972 and Reagan 1984, both of which happened BEFORE the "Religious Right" (i.e., modern-day Pharisees) truly infiltrated my party. I think if Reagan could have seen the future in the mid-80's, he would have told Falwell and Roberts to jump in a lake. You stated it quite nicely: we need to find our first love and stick with her this time.
Thank you for your comment, Timothy. That is what I don't understand. Reagan is revered in the Republican party, yet he didn't go anywhere near these social issues. Why can't they emulate his cheery optimism and the focus he had on reducing the size and expenditures of the federal government? The economy is a mess, there is no denying it, and we have to deal with the debt. Allowing social issues to put that discussion in the background is not doing anyone in this country any good.
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